Leigh was right. I was in love with Nick, but the impending issues and emotional baggage that came along with someone like me, I didn't think Nick would even want someone like me. Particularly when I had a son to care for. I was able to stop by the hospital more as the tour wore off and started to wind down, this was the little bundle of joy wrapped up in a 3 year old boy that I had to protect. He in actual fact was my first priority. Nick had my heart that was true, but Dylan was after all my life, my breath and....my son. At the end of the day, no matter how sick he was, I saw it in him...the strength and hope, while laying in waiting for a miracle, that he would get better....
It was getting towards the end of the tour, we'd been to over 30 states and Florida was the last one we ventured to. Life was about to get more interesting....
(Nick's Place: Marathon, Florida Keys)
" Wow...." was all I could say to describe the feeling I had when I stood infront of Nick's house, more like a mansion! I just stared, fixated on the idea that I would be staying here for the last part of the tour....after that? I didn't want to think about...it was unfamiliar territory....
" It's somethin' isn't it? " Nick stepped out of the taxi grabbing the bags and paying the driver. I managed to find my feet and make it to the front door.
" It sure is somethin' Nick....it's gorgeous..." He chuckled and then looked at me as seriously as possible.
" Now be extremely careful....I have dogs. Pugs and 4 to be exact...3 boys and a girl, so be prepared..." Nick unlocked the door and before I knew it I was on the floor with four pairs of tongues licking all over me.
" Settle down! you will all get a pat! the infamous pugs! I love little dogs! " I had managed to sit up at least and giving them all equal attention. Nick had come back down the stairs by then and just stared. He hadn't seen anything like it. The only time the pugs got that excited was when Grace was alive. They loved her and now they loved Skye....he picked the right one to bring home.
" That is the most sexiest thing I have ever seen in my entire life..." He didn't recognise his own voice and neither did I. It was that husky. I looked up from the floor to meet his eyes. The passion and lust that I saw in them. That dazed look he'd get every time we looked at each other. He gave a seductive smirk and continued down the stairs.
" This is Willy and Mikey and Houston...the pug that is cuddling up to you is my girl Nicky. She's my babygirl and very temperamental but I think you'll do just fine. They all have their name tags on so you can tell the boys apart anyway...." The way he knelt down and was parallel to my face, inches apart was amazing. I felt the electricity between us and could feel his breath on me, so close...
" Well I wanna see the rest of the house..." I managed to stand holding Nicky in my arms.
" Okay but Nicky's gonna have to be put down so she and the fellas can go outside. You can play with her later..." I gave Nicky a kiss on her nose and put her down on the floor. She immediately raced outside with the other pugs. Nick took my hand and guided me around the house. The whole time his hand never left mine. I watched his facial expressions, when he showed me his studio he built the year before to accommodate recording conditions, or his study where he kept all his awards. He was so full of life and wonder. He had changed dramatically over the last 6 months that I had known him. He was excited and smiling, his eyes lighting up and he was actually....happy....I was definitely surprised. An area that I hadn't covered before today, seeing him this happy. Nick truly was opening up and I hoped in time I would open up too...
(Sometime Later...)
" Hey you with me? " Nick snapped me out of my intense reverie as I stared at his bedroom. The last part of the house that he showed me. I had a thing about bedrooms. (I do in real life too!) I personally think that they are a very private and personal area of someone's life and I wasn't going to step into his room until he said I could. I had been really overwhelmed, I didn't realise how he'd be feeling at this point. His bedroom that he shared with Grace...Oh god did he want me to sleep in here? Nick saw me looking horrified or more like shit scared, both effective.
" You can sleep in one of the guestrooms if you don't feel comfortable sleeping in this bed...I bought a new bed after...." I looked at his body language and realised he must of seen my previous expression, plus it wasn't half obvious how uncomfortable I was or he was for that matter.
" Nick as long as you feel comfortable with me being in the same bed as you, I don't really mind, I'd be happy to stay in the guestroom....but only if you want me to..." Nick turned to me and smiled...ah that was a good sign definitely.
" I'm comfortable....I just wasn't sure if you were..." I walked a little closer to him. Hoping I'd get a hug or a kiss on the head.
" I am comfortable....now that we have established sleeping arrangements..." I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace, Nick totally relaxed and in tune.
" Yes you were saying? " Nick left the question hanging and my eyes followed from his chest to his face in the most seductive manner before quietly responding;
" What's for dinner? "
(During Dinner...)
And the sexual tension would start again....Nick would look at me intently. I'd look up and catch him glancing my way before he'd quickly return to eating his food. This continued for several moments at a time in silence before I put my fork down and sighed.
" What are we doing Nick? " Nick looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train or a deer caught in headlights.
" I don't know...what do you think we are doing? " and there was the cocky grin to cover up the fear.
" Are we avoiding each other or something? Really? coz I just feel like it's silence or I just...I don't know anymore..." I grabbed my plate and headed to the kitchen. A moment later Nick was behind me, watching me wash his plate and mine.
" What do you feel for me? " Okay! rewind! since when was he allowed to say that! I froze, just when this was a perfect opportunity to tell him how I felt, my body completely stopped working, well my mouth that is. How could I tell him? What could I say? I tell him and then I have to explain everything else...including Dylan...
" I don't understand..." Nick stood behind me, inching a little closer, he wasn't even touching me and it sent a chill down my spine.
" Answer the question...I want an honest answer...I know once you tell me that this issue isn't closed...you saw what just went on between us...we're dancing around this idea of..." I cut him off and spun around, not realising how close he was.
" Idea of what Nick? You tell me? What have we been dancing around the idea of exactly? " His hands came up to both sides of my face as he blurted out what I wanted to hear for so long. His eyes looking straight through me and also scared the shit out of me.
" You know exactly what I'm talking about Skye...We're dancing around this idea of whether we are in love with each other or not...."