10 AM: Maybe it would be hard to crack Nick but I was getting there. I made breakfast that morning. He grabbed a piece of toast and quickly left. No conversation, no "hello" or "morning" just gone. He didn't really say anything just that he'd be home and bringing "someone" with him. Oh great I was supposed to help him and he was being a promiscuous asshole. Yep gotta love that! I chuckled...I'd have my revenge soon....

I moved most of my stuff into Nick's place over the last week hoping to crack some sort of ground with him. I grabbed some bread and made myself some lunch. Nick happened to come in and saw what I was spreading onto my bread and scrunched up his face instantly.

" What's that? " He looked weirdly at it. Then moved closer to smell it.

" It's Vegemite! Australians use it on their bread sometimes. " I smiled patriotically. I knew Nick would come out with some smart ass insensitive comment.

" It looks like shit! " Ha! hit the nail on that one Nick! Guys can be so ignorant sometimes. I laughed half heartedly and decided not to make an issue of it.

" Yeah well you get used to it...Some things look like shit but taste bittersweet towards the end. Plus it has Vitamin B.." I took a bite and left the kitchen. Nick shrugged and went to get his swimming trunks for outside with his "someone" Men try so hard to get a woman jealous. She wouldn't last a minute in here. I was really pissed off at Nick for insulting me like that so I rang the person who got me into this mess in the first place.

" Brian he's a complete asshole! He'll never open up! I don't know why I agreed to this! " Brian chuckled. He knew this would happen. All people experienced it in terms of confronting Nick with his wrath. I imagined him getting a kick out of me just whining about it.

" I thought you loved a challenge..." A challenge! What? the hell? I can't believe he just said that! Honestly!

" A challenge? For what? Brian this is no charity case! Nick doesn't want my help! He's very forward in that! I don't know how to at least break down any barrier. I definitely don't wanna know what makes him tick and I honestly don't know what to do! " I was at a dead end. Brian sighed. He knew Nick was going to play games with me. He thought I could try and improvise.

" Look don't let Nick get to you, he's only testing you out. See if you'll stick around. He's like that....he'll try anything to get you thinking that way and plus it'll take more than your healing to convince him that you're here to stay. Remember how you helped Howie with his sister even though you barely know him? All you have to do is find out what Nick's Achilles' heel is, his weakness. That's what will crack the code. That's what will bring the walls down. You have to figure that out. What scares him the most. " I smiled and a light bulb appeared giving me the best idea!

" Bri I think I may have the answer...."

I sat on the couch after Nick's well what do I call it? A friendly, meaningless fuck. That's what I would call it.

" You can't even remember my name! " The girl screamed. I had to chuckle at that. Anything to make me think that I had the upper hand. After the door slammed I continued to watch TV. Nick bounded down the stairs a moment later and saw me as calm as anything.

" Well? What are you doing? " I turned to him and looked innocent.

" Watching TV Nick that's what normal people do. I take it your "someone" didn't go so well? " Nick stormed over to the couch and flung himself down on it.

" Shut the fuck up! " He grabbed the remote and changed the channel. I looked at him shocked. Does this guy expect to get his own way while I was around? Think again sunshine!

" Hey! just coz you think you had a lousy fuck don't come in here and ruin my evening! " I grabbed the remote back out of his hand and changed it back to what I was watching. Nick looked stunned. This woman was trying to cure him of some disease he supposedly had. It was insane!

" Look I didn't ask for a fucking therapist so just give me the damn remote, it's my fucking TV! " Nick snatched it out of my hand and pressed it back to the channel he found and I thought that's it I have had it. I stood up with balled fists and just went off!

" What? and I didn't ask for a fucking, snot nosed, promiscuous asshole for a patient that can't even control his temper let alone act like an adult in any situation. You are so childish! I guess you were the one left over when God invented therapists huh? " I stormed upstairs. Nick put his head in his hands. Why did he always have to be so defensive all the time? What was wrong with him? He didn't like to open up period and anyone that knows him, knows that quite clearly. He decided he would say sorry and try and fix this situation. It was the least he could do. Nick walked upstairs and knocked on the door.

" Skye can I come in? I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I really wanna sort this out..." Nick opened the door and saw me on the bed. I was staring out the window. Just gazing. I didn't even hear him come in. He sat beside me. Hoping the silence would be broken but his prayers were short lived. I turned to him. A look of despair and worry for him filled the expression on my face.

" Do you have any idea how hard this is? It isn't easy. I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened for you to end up the way you are now. Maybe you aren't ready, that's okay too. I understand, you hardly know me...what could she possibly want to help me for? She could be covering her true identity and really be the press and do a whole big cover story on how Nick Carter the Backstreet Boy is suffering from depression...a personal crisis my ass. It looks like you're just crying for attention to me. " Nick scoffed and stood up. He paced frantically and looking at me as he paced.

" Crying for attention? What the hell do you take me for? Maybe I don't trust you just yet! Don't be such a drama queen! I came in here to say sorry, not be insulted " I had to scoff this time. Is he really like this all the time? A real immature asshole? What do I take him for?

" Nick that's fine if you don't trust me but don't expect me to be all soft on you coz you have had it hard. Believe me we have all had it hard. So don't try and make me out to be the vigilante okay? Just tell me why everything's so messed up for you...I can try and help at least." I tried to touch his arm but he flinched and flung it away. I sighed trying to figure out someway to get through to him that I was sticking around.

" You don't get it do you? You don't know the first thing about me! You wouldn't even know where to start! Do you honestly think that I am going to spill my guts and expect some sort of solution to my problems? I gave up on that a long time ago. Why are you so set on helping me? What did I do to deserve that? Tell me? " Nick watched as I just couldn't answer him. He smirked and walked over to the other side of the bed.

" Wow that's a first....You don't have an answer for me? Gosh I would expect some sort of psychological answer. See you can't even cure me. No one can. No one has stayed long enough to try. Why should you? Tell me why should I discuss anything with you? " I stood up and walked over to him with pure rage inside me. Trying so hard to keep calm wasn't an option anymore.

" Are you a complete insensitive asshole? Have you got no feelings at all? Of course I don't know the first thing about you! You haven't given me a chance to get to know you! Anyone else that's tried to get even the slightest bit close to you has had their head bitten off or another wall has been put up. And when someone makes a breakthrough another wall has been put up. How many walls will there be Nick? How many are you willing to put up to distance yourself away from others? From the guys? From your family? How many more people are going to want to know what you are feeling? When is anyone going to draw the line with you and say that's it! I can't do this Nick? Will they be just like everyone else? Will they leave and make you feel like you're abandoned? No! because you pushed them away even before you let them have a chance to help you. Nick this is where I draw the line. This is where I say enough's enough and there's no more chances. I am the line. The last chance. People want to help you but you keep pushing them away. It's okay to feel like you have failed but it's not the end of the world. No I don't have all the answers but I have options. It's whether or not you are willing to take those options and decide for yourself if you want to change the way you are. There's no more after me Nick. I make that choice now. Now you make the choice of asking for help. " I sat next to him and watched as everything I said sunk in. He nodded and looked at me and sort of ran his hand through his hair.

" Okay...what do I do to get help? " Success! Finally! Well a long way to go yet but a start. He looked so lost in those eyes and I knew then I was his only light that could save him. I smiled and put my hand in his.

" This is a long process. If you want to get back on track, then I'm here. But first and foremost I deserve some sort of respect. I'm not just a therapist. I don't demand to hear your problems. I wanna help you get better and for me to do that we have to formulate a conditioning process. When you're ready you tell me what happened, we figure out how to get you on track and then to a normal, if that lifestyle. I don't wanna know how you tick, I just wanna feel what you feel and that's how I can help. I understand you find it hard to trust and open up. We'll find a way for you to trust me....there's an amount of things you want to discuss, communication is important. I'm not here for any other purpose than to help you. I don't know the first thing about you so don't you EVER fucking assume the first thing about me. If you want to have any sort of friendship and professional relationship here than you have to stop acting like a selfish, egotistical, artificial pop star and for once in your life admit that you need help and stop trying to insult me. Now I'm going for a walk, I hope some of what I've said has made you realize that there is someone here that is willing to talk to you and not just sweep it under the carpet. " and with that in mind I got up and left the bedroom hoping that Nick would come to his senses then....but there was still a long way to go and how naive' was I to think he would agree with me?

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